Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
