RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
