And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
