when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
