I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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