I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
