drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
