Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
