i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
