when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
