none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize