these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
tell me about the eggs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
