So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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