My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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