I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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