problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
