Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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