i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
