i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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