I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
