guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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