Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you win again, gameday.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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