Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
