someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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