Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
