I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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