Nicole vs. Life
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
