from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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