We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
