brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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