I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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