Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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