her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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