So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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