before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
