hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
