summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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