She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
we're making bets on your personal life
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
