He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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