drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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