I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
