So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
