i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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