Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
