remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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