thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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