So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize