Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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