i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
