Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
