Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
