just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize