Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
