now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
