I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
