In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
