whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
