okay pat passed out under dana's car
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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