jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
