I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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