You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
