like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
