whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
