what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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